If the Man on the Cross Were You

IF THE MAN ON THE CROSS WERE YOU 
by Bradford Smith

Imagine being scared,

More scared than you've ever been.

Imagine being betrayed,

At the hands of your closest friends.

Imagine so much stress,

Blood starts seeping from your pores.

Imagine absolute terror,

More pain than you've ever endured.

Imagine hitting your knees,

The weight of the world on your shoulders.

Imagine you get abandoned,

That world all around you grows colder.

Imagine living your life

Accountable for all that you do

Imagine these things and answer

What if the man on the cross, were you?

Picture if you can, a garden,

Where you and your friends are praying,

And knowing what is now to come,

The agony you feel, from waiting.

Picture if you can, betrayal,

A figurative knife in your back.

A kiss once meant to be beautiful,

Is now the thing that paints a soul black

Picture if you can, the cowards,

Who come in the middle of the night,

Arrest you without any reason,

Yet you give up without a fight.

Picture if you can, forgiveness,

Is a gift that's not meant for you.

Can you truly feel yet the horror,

If the man on the cross were you?

Feel for yourself, the slander,

The mockery, ridicule, and hate,

All paling in comparison to

The injustice of what still awaits.

Feel for yourself, sheer torture,

As the barbs sink into your skin,

Tearing . . . ripping . . . removing flesh

Again… and again…… and again.

Feel for yourself, agony,

As the torture just will not end.

Your neck, shoulders, and back,

Are completely devoid of skin.

Feel for yourself, a blessing,

It wasn't your meat cleaved from the bone.

Knowing with all that you've done,

It should have been you on that stone.

Put yourself in His sandals,

And the cross on your bloodied back.

Take the walk to your death

And one final, brutal, attack.

Put yourself in His sandals

Let a woman wipe off your face

On your knees from weakness,

Feeling your final human embrace.

Put yourself in His sandals

As you walk slowly up that hill.

Accepting of your fate

Because you know it is His Will.

Put yourself in His sandals,

All the pain that He's been through,

Picture what it would be like

If the man on the cross were you.

Lay there on the cross,

With your arms spread open wide,

You're bloodied, bruised, and beaten

And now prepared to die.

Lay there on the cross,

As the nails first touch your hands,

Watch then as the hammer drops

And iron enters man.

Lay there on the cross,

As pain pulses through your core,

Your hands pinned to the wood,

Knowing there will be more.

Lay there in His place,

With the knowledge all hope is lost,

With the full appreciation that

It should be you on that cross

Experience the anguish,

As the nail goes through your feet.

You are nearly finished now,

Your journey finally complete.

Experience the anguish,

As your mother looks you in the eye,

Feel the pain she can't describe,

As she watches her only son die.

Experience the anguish,

As the cross goes in the air.

As it thuds into its hole,

You say your final prayer.

Experience the anguish,

Of all that you've been through,

Realizing it would be just,

If the man on the cross were you.

Death is now finally here

As your breath escapes your lungs,

Taking sin and making it yours,

Your work here on earth is done.

Death is now finally here,

And your Father can not watch,

A spear is dug into your side,

To be sure your heart has stopped.

Death is now finally here,

Now look at the man you've killed

Just hanging there on that cross,

His purpose has been fulfilled.

Death is now finally here,

And God is looking at you,

Trembling, you finally realize,

What if the man on the cross, were you?

Shadows and Dust

The first date I ever went on was almost 10 years ago to the day. And when I say date, I mean real date: Drive my own truck, meet the parents, shake the dad's hand ("yes sir, I'll have her back by midnight"), dinner and a movie, and I pay for everything. We went to my favorite Italian restaurant in Lafayette, and then went see Gladiator. (Special thanks to the attendant who let a 16 & 15 year old into a rated R movie.) And to this day, Gladiator is still my favorite movie (though, Shawshank gives it a pretty good run for its money). I can quote you just about every line from the movie. The title of this post comes from Proximo, the slave/gladiator owner. I could go on and on. I love it.

Since then, the one place I've always wanted to go, is Rome. It's the ancient city, the eternal city. This, is where it all began! Gladiator, just kind of put me on to the shear magnificence of the city. Then there's the history. The Roman Republic/Empire lasted roughly 1000 years from what I've read, and dominated the world as it was known at that time. Shakespeare set his plays here. The ROMAN Catholic Church was started here. Everything, for at least our history, points back to Rome in some way. (All roads lead to Rome.) They set the standard. Now, there are several girls who have told me Paris was their dream city, but they were disappointed when they finally went there. Well, if a guy can have a city, Rome is mine. And it DID NOT DISAPPOINT.

DAY 1 - "There is not Enough Film"

We boarded our train in Vienna, Monday night a little before 7:00. We decided traveling by overnight train was a good way to kill 3 birds with 1 stone. We needed a place to sleep, so we all save on the cost of a hostel. We need to get there by train. Problem solved. And there's the fact that it's a 14 hour jog from Vienna to Rome and we'd able to sleep through most of it, cutting our boredom and the amount of stir-craziness down to a minimum. So, I got on the train pretty excited to say the least; excited to be leaving Vienna, but also excited to FINALLY be going to Rome.

It still wasn't registering though, that I was actually going to be there. Vienna had a bit of a numbing effect. Having been to London, Paris, Vienna, Munich (though Munich is pretty different from the other cities), New York and Washington DC, it's easy to become immune to big old buildings (especially in Europe where everything is old). We met one guy on a train who said he was "churched out." Eventually, they all start to look the same. I understood his sentiment. So, to tell you the truth, I really didn't know what to expect from Rome, but I was excited nonetheless. I was most excited about seeing The Vatican and the Coliseum. I really hadn't done any research as to what else I "should" see. Didn't really care. For me, Rome was THE place and I wanted to see it all.

The train ride itself, just like every other one up to this point, was uneventful. We got a four person sleeper car, so we didn't have to worry about anyone else possibly joining us. We could be loud, obnoxious Americans that put their stuff all over the place, and not annoy anyone else. The compartment was set up a little differently than the last overnight train we were on. We had a bit less room in the bunks (which really only mattered for me), but more room to store stuff. I'll take the extra storage. This train also gave us electrical outlets to use, which was awesome because we were able to plug up computers and watch movies and tv shows. About 8:00 or so, a lady came by to check our tickets and rail passes, which is common. They'd done this on every train so far. But this woman, took our train passes and said she'd give them back in the morning. We didn't like this, but didn't have a choice in the matter either.

True to her word, the lady was back at 7:00am with our rail passes, and BREAKFAST. This was unexpected. It wasn't much (just a croissant and coffee), but we weren't expecting it, so it was a great way to start the day. At this point, we were only 2 hours away, and I was getting more and more excited. But, as we got closer, the girls started telling stories about what to watch out for when we got there. Apparently, they have wild packs of children in Rome, trained to pick pocket you. They approach you in bunches, sort of corner you and there are so many of them, one of them is going to take something. In addition, they have normal pick pockets to watch out for. Lastly, (yeh, all this was a real mood killer) they have people at the train station that will try to speak English to you to offer advice, help, whatever. If you answer them with anything other than "No" they will charge you and make a cop make you pay them for "accepting their services." So, "Head on a swivel" was a term that was tossed around a lot, and I got off the train not excited like I planned to be, but rather nervous both for myself and for the others in my group. But, as it turned out, all of that was for nothing. Nobody even remotely approached us in a threatening way the entire time we were in Rome. The only person that did ask us if we needed help, was a worker for some place, but she wasn't trying to scam us, she was just being helpful.

As was the norm for us, we went straight to the ticket counter to book our train out of Rome on Friday night. And from there, we walked out of the train station, and FINALLY out onto the streets of Rome. Now the first thing I noticed as soon as I got off the sidewalk, were the cobblestone roads. I have no idea if they were the original roads from back in the early years after Christ, ( I haven't researched it, but I suspect not), but regardless, the cobblestones that run throughout the city give an immediate "ancient" feel to everything. First impressions, I thought the roads were 2,000 years old. But as I walked around the city and saw potholes here and there, I suspect they are replaced. Still, it was one thing that I liked about the city.

But enough about the roads. Also as per our norm, we walked out of the train station looking like tourists. We even had and old man point, laugh, and say "touristas" as he walked by. (Thanks for that.) The wonderful directions given to us by Hotel Virginia said "Walk out of the train station and keep straight." Something was lost in their translation because straight made absolutely no sense. After walking around a few blocks, literally in a circle, Brad pulled out the GPS on his phone, Kierstyn got the address and we eventually found our hotel (whose directions however were completely worthless). The hotel was smaller and more expensive than any hostel we had stayed in so far. Easy Palace had set the bar high. There is nothing to brag about with room 409; small bathroom, one double bed and a set of small bunkbeds (my feet hung off the end), but there's nothing to complain about either. The room was adequate.

After dropping off our stuff in the room, we hit the streets to start touring the city. The hotel was only about 4 blocks from the train station, so we walked back to catch one of the open aired, double-decker, sightseeing tours. The bus had two routes to choose from, we could use it for 2 days (3 actually because of a parade that interrupted one of the days), we could hop on/hop off at stops all over the city, and it only cost € 18. It was a great deal. So, we hopped on the blue line, because Kierstyn really wanted to see the Trevi Fountain, and the blue line got us to the stop we wanted the quickest.

As the bus set out, now I was excited. It brought us around the train station and told us it was important for some reason or another. But, come on. This is Rome, nobody comes here to see the train station. Our first stop was Piazza della Republica, a big round-about basically, with a huge fountain in the center and a very old church to our right. One of the first things I wrote in my notes about Rome was you know you're in an old city when any date they mention has the letters "BC" in it. The church was old, but I don't remember the exact age. The next stop was Santa Maria Maggiore, then Palazzo delle Esposizioni, and then finally the stop where we got off, Piazza Venezia with the Monument to Vittorio Emanuele II.

This thing was HUGE! (skadoosh) And I remember thinking "Nice try everywhere-else". Rome is the original. Everything is copied off of this place, and I believe the phrase is "A copy is never as good as the original." Well, that is true when it comes to Rome. I remember being wowed by the Capital and Supreme Court buildings in Washington DC. Well, they copied off the Romans, and the Romans did it better. There was an intricacy to each statue, shear detail in every aspect of architecture, a certain magnificence to everything, that really is very hard to explain.

After snapping a few pictures, we started our hike through the city. Walking through the streets of Rome was a surreal experience. Movies actually depict the look of the streets pretty accurately. I kept waiting for an accordion to start playing and a fat man to start singing and hand me a pizza. We walked a lot that day, but I didn't mind at all. It was pretty cool to actually be out on the streets.

Like I said, Kierstyn wanted to see the Trevi Fountain, so we made that our first stop. The fountain is supposedly the love fountain of Rome. You throw three coins in, make a wish, and you have to return there (or something like that). I don't know the exact story. But anyway, we walked there and snapped some pictures. The fountain, just like everything else in Rome was extremely big, very intricate, and there were a ton of people there to see it.

From there we made our way to the Piazza di Spagna

or the Spanish Steps. I didn't know much about them

at the time. To me it was just something else cool to

see. But, I've found out since then that these are the

longest and widest steps in Europe. They certainly

offered one hell of a view of the city.

We didn't stay at the steps very long. We left there and started our walk back to Piazza Venezia to catch our bus. But along the way, we found the Ferrari store, which is what Brad wanted to see most on the trip. He bought a hat and a shirt and a couple other things. Then we made our way to a little Italian café on one of the side streets for lunch. I got authentic Italian Lasagna and it was delicious. Welcome to Italy, indeed. After that, we made our way to the Pantheon, which wasn't that far away. To tell you the truth, I wasn't that impressed with the outside of the building. As you can see, it was under construction, but even without, it still wasn't that impressive. Then I went inside. WOW! If you clicked the link, you saw this thing dates back to 126 AD. To walk inside and see the perfect dome, and all the craftsmanship, and realize that this place was built nearly 2 millennium ago…. yeh, it's pretty awe-inspiring.

After that, we finally made our way back to the bus for the rest of the tour. The bus brought us along the Tiber and it was pretty cool to be seeing some of the rivers I learned about in 5th grade geography. We saw the Isola Tiberina (Tiber Island), and continued along the river for a while seeing various things here and there, that were cool to see, but not worth mentioning. At one point we passed a theatre that had been built in 11 BC. 11 BC! That is worth mentioning.

Then we took a left, crossed the Tiber, made another left, and I got my first look at St. Peter's Basilica. The church is ENORMOUS!! The bus stopped for just a minute, and I wanted to get down from the bus, but we had already decided we would spend a good portion of one of our later days here. So I waited. But, this certainly increased the anticipation for Thursday.

"There's not enough film." I wrote that down, as I was using my digital camera, thus no need for film. But the sentiment is the same. Rome is overwhelming. There is so much to see. So much to take in. There are single buildings that you could literally spend a month in and not see everything. You can't take enough pictures. There aren't enough words. It's virtually impossible to describe exactly what it is to be in Rome. Now, I may be a bit partial. Like I said, I've always wanted to go there. But Rome is the real deal, and definitely worth the trip. I wrote that last part as we left the Vatican and continued along the Tiber. Little did I know that I hadn't even scratched the surface. The tour continued and we passed Castel Sant'Angelo. We saw a bunch of ruins, including the wall that once ran around the city way back when, and the place where Julius Caesar was killed. The bus brought us back to the train station and we made our way back to the hotel. By this time, it was about 8:00 and we were all pretty tired. We had been walking most of the day, and got a pretty good amount of sun. A couple of us went to a little internet/phone hole-in-the-wall and I was able to call home for the first time. From there we went and grabbed some groceries from a store up the road. Brad, Kierstyn, and Erica bought some wine and we all went back to the room for the night about 9:30/10:00. We put on a movie and they drank until we all fell asleep. Hell of a first day in ROME!

DAY 2 - "Tiger Stadium - East"

The Numidian (Maximus' black friend) stares in awe as he gets his first look at the coliseum. "I didn't know men could build such things." Think about the great stadiums of today, true marvels of modern engineering. What do they hold (nascar excluded), a little over 100,000, give or take? Penn State, Tennessee, Michigan, etc., pack 100,000 plus into their stadiums on various Saturdays throughout the fall to watch athletic spectacles. The Romans put half that number into their "stadium" almost 2,000 years ago. Ignoring the differences in the term "Athletic Spectacle", the Romans built a stadium with a FIFTY THOUSAND person seating capacity, BEFORE the year 100 AD. It is a true wonder that the Romans were able to build/engineer something like that. The size of this thing is unbelievable. But the true testament to their genius, is that it's still here (in some form) today.

So, Wednesday, we got a bit of a late start. We hadn't planned to, but we ended up sleeping in. The Italians were

having a military parade that we planned to catch at 9:00, but that didn't happen. So, about 11:00, we finally hit the streets. We were, however, able to get a brief glimpse of the end of the parade. And by that, I mean we saw the 6 Italian military jets leaving a trail of red, white, and green in their wake for a split second as they passed between some buildings.

Because of the parade, which snaked around the coliseum and the ancient ruins, the red line bus we were supposed to take was using an alternate route for the morning, and wouldn't be going by the coliseum until later in the afternoon. So, we walked. We walked a good bit on Tuesday, but we had kept our walking pretty centralized (according to our map). So we thought the walk would be quite a bit longer than it actually ended up being. I had the map and was taking us down this street and that. Right here, straight for a couple of blocks; and then we take a random left and there it is.

Like I've said, Rome did not disappoint. But to tell you the truth, I half expected it to. When you build something up so much in your mind, often times it's hard for something or someone to live up to expectations. So, with regards to the coliseum, "This is it?" is what I half expected to be saying. Instead, it went more like this, "This is it! WOW!" The word "wow" came out of my mouth more times than I care to think about this day.

The north side of the coliseum is the only side that is still fully standing and that's the first view of the coliseum that we got. I was excited. The walk after that took no time at all. And we were at the building. In relationship to stadiums of today, this would still be a pretty cool stadium to have. Lots of college stadiums (U-La-La), still don't have the seating capacity that the coliseum had. Again, thinking about when this was built really does put it in a class all by itself.

So, we walked up to the coliseum, and began snapping pictures. We, well I, took a bunch. We were so close that we couldn't get pictures of the entire thing, so we backed up and snapped a few more. For some reason, the way we had approached couldn't get us up to the actual structure itself. So we backtracked and came up a different road. To the side of us were a bunch of old ancient ruins. They told us what they were, but I don't remember. It wasn't that important to me.

We could not have asked for a better day to be here. It was something straight out of a post card. The sky was a bright bright blue. The clouds rolling through look exactly like something out of Gladiator, and because of the parade, I actually think there were less people there than would have normally been. When we got up to the actual building/structure/stadium/whatever, you could really see just how old this thing was. Scratch that. Before you got to this thing, you could see just how old everything in this area was. Obviously some of the stuff was no longer there. But, a lot was. They had one section of "sidewalk" that had to have been 2,000+ years old. The stones were huge and now uneven. But nevertheless, they were still there. We walked on this part of the ancient road and then completely around the stadium. Because of the parade, which we found out was kind of a big deal, we could not go inside the thing, which sucked. But we still decided to do what we could. So we continued walking and snapping pictures.

The reason the north wall is the only part still standing is because of a strong earthquake that rocked Rome sometime around 500 AD. The rest of it crumbled, fell, what have you. But, 1500 years later, it's still there. Some areas still had some of the arches standing. There were 3 levels of arches on the north side. Other areas had only one. But you could walk around the entire thing and not find one spot where the entire thing had crumbled. At least one level (and I think maybe more) was still standing from the original.

As we made our way back to our starting point, we noticed a huge line had formed around the building, and people were walking around inside. "Hell yeah! We get to go in this thing." It was € 16 for a guided tour and € 16.50 to get a little headpiece for the audio tour. You got to skip the line and pay less by doing the guided tour, so we did that. Though in hindsight, maybe we should have waited the extra 30 minutes and paid the extra 50 cents. Our tour guide wasn't that great. Yes, she spoke English. But she had an accent that made her hard to understand at times, she went pretty fast through the coliseum, and at other times was pretty hard hear because of the shear number of people.

So, I can't say that I learned much on the tour, but I'll tell you what I did. Like I said, it held 50,000 people and was built around 90 AD. Nero took land from the people to build it, and then some other emperor started the "games" as a way of giving back to the people since their land had been stolen. I believe she said they had something like 160 days of games that included the barbaric gladiator exhibitions you're most likely thinking of, but they would also bring in animals from around the world that the people would never otherwise get to see. The bottom of the coliseum, as you can see in some of the pictures, was a labyrinth of tunnels that housed the gladiators, some of the animals, and part of a the coliseum floor that could be lowered and raised. The floor of the coliseum was sand to absorb the blood from the people and the animals. It's not there anymore.

I feel like I'm going to say this a lot, but it really is hard to explain everything associated with actually being in all these places. Walking through the coliseum, imagining the fear the early Christians, beggars, criminals and slaves must have felt before they were thrown into the arena was pretty humbling. We spent probably an hour and a half inside the thing, but I still feel like we were kind of rushed through it. I didn't get a moment to just stand there and take it in like I would have liked. Nevertheless, at the end of it all, I can say that I walked the floors, tunnels, and bleachers of the coliseum. I touched the walls and bricks that were put there nearly 20 centuries ago. I was there.

The rest of the day isn't really much to talk about, both in comparison and in actuality. By the time we left the coliseum, it was about 4:00 in the afternoon and we were all hungry. The girls had read about some place that offered discounted lunch, so we tried and failed to find it. After about an hour we found the square where the restaurant was supposedly located, but found nothing. So we ate calzones in the little square and drank water out of the free water fountains that are scattered around Rome. From there we went get gelato at some place that is supposedly famous. Well, it must be because the place was packed. The ice cream was pretty good, but it was unbelievable how many people were in there. By the time all this was done, after all the wandering around, it was about 7:45. The day was done, so we began the walk home. After a long walk back, we ate at the little place right across from Hotel Virginia, and called it a night.